I am so exhausted most nights. My husband works 7 days on (6a to 6p) then off 7 days and then 7 days of nights (6p to 6a) then 7 days off. Me? I work all kinds of hours. I work for a cellular company in a mall so I work some days 930a-9p, or 11-9, or on Sundays I work 11-6. I'm all different hours, every single week.
When I come home most nights at 9 or 930, I am exhausted but there is a ton to do. The week my husband is on nights is my most productive night. I come home and usually dunk my little girl in the tub. While she is bathing, I clean up the kitchen and do laundry in between picking up things around the house. I get her out the tub and snuggle her while I read her a bedtime story. We talk about the day she had and I then put her to bed. I finally get some time to sit and relax in peace and quiet. Once she is asleep, which doesn't take long--then I'm in overdrive. Swapping laundry batches, folding, hanging the clothes as they come out the dryer. Did she pick up her stuff in the bathroom when she was done bathing? Did she remember to pick up her supper dishes (She usually does pick up behind herself but I have to check) Are my husband work undershirts clean? Should I vacumn now or later? Dust now or later? What's for supper tomorrow? So many questions run thru my head.
Here I am at 11:15 at night and my child is at her nanny's for the weekend and my husband is asleep but I can't seem to find the motivation to lift the leg rest on my chair much less pick up the laundry littering the coffee table, all folded and hung ready to be put away. The kitchen is clean but man clean pots/pans/towels litter the counter begging to be picked up. I don't even have the energy.
How can I have so much energy when I'm home alone and have to do it all alone, yet when my child isn't here and my husband is asleep--I can't do jack crud!
I am trying to blog more. I miss it. It is so therapeutic to write out how you feel and what you hope to improve on. I just wish I had another set of untired legs to use when I come home at night after working 10 hours on your feet all day.
Good night all! Hope I still have some readers out there!
Friday, July 1, 2011
More than anything in the world
I asked my husband this week for a baby for my birthday gift. Sounds dumb, right?
There isn't anything (other than a color Nook) that I want right now--so I asked for a baby.
We have our beautiful daughter Alesi but she isn't my biological child so I didn't get to have her from day one. I met her when she was 2 and I've been her mom from that day on. I love her and nothing could ever ever change the amount of love I have for her. I love her like I'd love my own flesh and blood I would carry for 9 months.
I just want a child. I've been bummed lately that it hasn't happened but I know I have to wait for when God feels the need to give me one. I want the 9 months of extra weight, and heart burn, and hiccups, and acrobatic routines in my stomach! I just want it all and I want it NOW!
It just sucks. Especially since I read that Nadya Suleman (You know, Octo-mom) has gone and said she hates her babies and they disgust her.
Really? I'd like to smack her--that's for sure.
I just keep on praying and you know, enjoying my husband until we get knocked up ;)
Have a great weekend ya'll!
There isn't anything (other than a color Nook) that I want right now--so I asked for a baby.
We have our beautiful daughter Alesi but she isn't my biological child so I didn't get to have her from day one. I met her when she was 2 and I've been her mom from that day on. I love her and nothing could ever ever change the amount of love I have for her. I love her like I'd love my own flesh and blood I would carry for 9 months.
I just want a child. I've been bummed lately that it hasn't happened but I know I have to wait for when God feels the need to give me one. I want the 9 months of extra weight, and heart burn, and hiccups, and acrobatic routines in my stomach! I just want it all and I want it NOW!
It just sucks. Especially since I read that Nadya Suleman (You know, Octo-mom) has gone and said she hates her babies and they disgust her.
Really? I'd like to smack her--that's for sure.
I just keep on praying and you know, enjoying my husband until we get knocked up ;)
Have a great weekend ya'll!
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
The one where my OCD finally overcame my busy life
I love to organize things. I was that kid who had their school bag packed at least a full week before school started. There was an episode of the Cosby Show where Rudy had even packed her lunch a full week before school started, a delightful lunch of tuna salad on wheat bread. I was that kind of kid!
I've lived a few different places since graduating high school. I always accumulate too much stuff. My husband and I bought our house 3 years ago and trust me when I tell you we moved from a shoebox to a mansion. Our rent house (shoebox, 2 bedroom at that!) was TINY and only 500 square feet at best maybe, and that's stretching it. When we moved everything out of the rent house into our house 3 years ago, I had no clue how we ever fit everything we did into that rent house. We had things everywhere at our house when we moved in, and it was even hard finding spots for it in our 1650 square foot home.
Our house now is 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom and one large walk in closet which was dubbed an office. It was a good size and it was the selling point for us at the time of purchasing since I worked from home at the time. Four bedrooms were out of our price range and I didn't want to take the entire 3rd bedroom as my office. So we bought the house and the "office" has always been the home for my desktop CPU but it's always housed everything else. Our kitchen has minimal storage and being the foodie I am, it just doesn't have enough space for all the gadgets I have. I mean I have a creme brulee torch, a mortar and pestle, a pan for every baking scenario, and a wok for crying out loud. I have everything else known to man, so it's housed all of my kitchen overflow (read as everything stored in there but our dishes and toaster!)
I keep the door closed and am mortified at how dirty it is, but no one ever sees it. I didn't have any other place to put my desktop but I rarely used my desktop since I hated going in and seeing the clutter. It made me sick but I didn't know how to combat it. Well this past week I purchased a laptop and came to the conclusion I just needed to turn my "office" into a butler's pantry of sort. My dad scored us a free upright freezer about 2 or 3 months ago and it's been sitting under his carport waiting for us to find a space for it in our home. I would like to stock up cooked food since my husband works crazy hours and it's super hard to cook for just my daughter and I all week being that I work until 9 at night. So I decided today was the day I cleaned that office out and made it into the pantry I've dreamed of since forever.
I'm currently sitting on the sofa smiling because after over 3 years of living in this house--it's DONE! I have to wait until tomorrow to get the freezer and put the big bookcase back in to house our pictures, yearbooks, and mementos on. When my cell phone cooperates, I will post before and after pictures. For now, I rest assured knowing I organized it :)
I've lived a few different places since graduating high school. I always accumulate too much stuff. My husband and I bought our house 3 years ago and trust me when I tell you we moved from a shoebox to a mansion. Our rent house (shoebox, 2 bedroom at that!) was TINY and only 500 square feet at best maybe, and that's stretching it. When we moved everything out of the rent house into our house 3 years ago, I had no clue how we ever fit everything we did into that rent house. We had things everywhere at our house when we moved in, and it was even hard finding spots for it in our 1650 square foot home.
Our house now is 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom and one large walk in closet which was dubbed an office. It was a good size and it was the selling point for us at the time of purchasing since I worked from home at the time. Four bedrooms were out of our price range and I didn't want to take the entire 3rd bedroom as my office. So we bought the house and the "office" has always been the home for my desktop CPU but it's always housed everything else. Our kitchen has minimal storage and being the foodie I am, it just doesn't have enough space for all the gadgets I have. I mean I have a creme brulee torch, a mortar and pestle, a pan for every baking scenario, and a wok for crying out loud. I have everything else known to man, so it's housed all of my kitchen overflow (read as everything stored in there but our dishes and toaster!)
I keep the door closed and am mortified at how dirty it is, but no one ever sees it. I didn't have any other place to put my desktop but I rarely used my desktop since I hated going in and seeing the clutter. It made me sick but I didn't know how to combat it. Well this past week I purchased a laptop and came to the conclusion I just needed to turn my "office" into a butler's pantry of sort. My dad scored us a free upright freezer about 2 or 3 months ago and it's been sitting under his carport waiting for us to find a space for it in our home. I would like to stock up cooked food since my husband works crazy hours and it's super hard to cook for just my daughter and I all week being that I work until 9 at night. So I decided today was the day I cleaned that office out and made it into the pantry I've dreamed of since forever.
I'm currently sitting on the sofa smiling because after over 3 years of living in this house--it's DONE! I have to wait until tomorrow to get the freezer and put the big bookcase back in to house our pictures, yearbooks, and mementos on. When my cell phone cooperates, I will post before and after pictures. For now, I rest assured knowing I organized it :)
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
The time comes...
...where you run thru a hallway to get to the arena to watch your 6 year old tap her heart out to the Disney version of Mambo #5 and you find yourself crying. You have tears in your eyes while she taps her llittle heart out and you know she isn't doing the steps like a skilled tap dancer would, but you are crying none the less.
Let's back up to this prior weekend. My sweet, adorable, drama-queen, talking back expert, awesome little girl had her second dance recital. Being that I'm that mom, I volunteered to be the class mom since I had the day off and I hadn't gotten many chances to volunteer for other things since I work all of the dang time. So we set off Saturday to first grab McDonald's for lunch then head over to recital practice. I know better than to not feed my dramatic child before we do anything. She will act like she hasn't eaten in months if I didn't. So we had an early lunch and then headed over to the rehearsal.
It was a madhouse there. The civic center they were having it at had guaranteed the dance company's owner they could get it at 10 AM. It was 12:30 before they let them in, the time the mom's were told to have the children there for recital practice. We muddled thru it and it went as quickly as it could go. We finally got out of there and headed home.
Sunday (recital day) I got up and hand curled my child's stubborn hair because she was destraught the day before thatn Cailey, Kaley, and Kallee's hair were all curled and hers wasn't. My child's hair is bone straight, as if I flat ironed it every hour on the hour and it never ever got wet and it wasn't humid as the dickens down here in South Louisiana. I get her make up done as well, because that was something else she groaned about the day before at rehearsal. Ok check check, and CHECK!
We finally set out to the recital two hours+ before it was due to start. That's the time we were told to be there, so we were. Almost all of the class showed up on time, minus one child. I won't get into how that mom thought it was OK to show up with her child 20 minutes before the recital started. Whatever! Ok so one of my jobs as class mom was to line the girls up in line as they were to perform. I had to stay with the girls in a hall way in the back to ensure they remained quiet and in order while others were dancing on stage. So when it came time to get on stage, I had to put those littlejerks princesses on stage. I was so ver their fighting and my child's jealousy at that time. I would compliment one of the other 23 girls in her class and she immediately wanted to hold my hand or hug me or give me a kiss. I proceeded to tell my husband that night we had to have another child and STAT! The jealousy thing has to go like 1999!
So I get thejerks on stage and run (and I mean shoes off so I don't slip, fat girl run) down the hall to get to the arena to see my child dance. I paid all that money after all, by golly I want to see her butt dance! I find a spot to sit at and proceed to wait for the curtain to be pulled back. There she is, smiling huge and her eyes searching for me. She won't see me but she knows her daddy and I are out there somewhere watching her. She is in her stance and the music starts. Her hips start shaking and she starts her dance, the dance we have practiced every day for the last 2 weeks to ensure she knows what she is doing. She is dancing her heart out and smiling away. She never once looked to the side curtains to see what steps she should be doing.
I felt something wet on my hands in my lap. I realize that I am crying at this point, because I am so proud of her. She is up there just radiating everything I know to be true about her--her sweet demeanor that gives me a foot rub if I say I had a long day, the times she saves her red starbursts for me because she knows I love them, or how she runs up to me and screams my name when I come home after not seeing her for a day or two due to my work schedule.
Every frustrated bedtime, every time she gets a tiny scratch and needs a band aid, every time she swears she isn't hungry and won't eat but devours whatever I'm trying to eat (that is usually the last bit of it and I've been salivating over it all day)---it's all worth it at that point.
I have to treasure every second with her. You know why--because one day she will morph into an obnoxious little brat that is 14 and wants to move out and hates me--all because I won't let her have the newest iphone or date some boy who I think belongs on American Most Wanted.
So I sit and cry at her dancing to Mambo #5 in a Mickey costume with a bright smile because I'll never ever get that moment back in life.
Let's back up to this prior weekend. My sweet, adorable, drama-queen, talking back expert, awesome little girl had her second dance recital. Being that I'm that mom, I volunteered to be the class mom since I had the day off and I hadn't gotten many chances to volunteer for other things since I work all of the dang time. So we set off Saturday to first grab McDonald's for lunch then head over to recital practice. I know better than to not feed my dramatic child before we do anything. She will act like she hasn't eaten in months if I didn't. So we had an early lunch and then headed over to the rehearsal.
It was a madhouse there. The civic center they were having it at had guaranteed the dance company's owner they could get it at 10 AM. It was 12:30 before they let them in, the time the mom's were told to have the children there for recital practice. We muddled thru it and it went as quickly as it could go. We finally got out of there and headed home.
Sunday (recital day) I got up and hand curled my child's stubborn hair because she was destraught the day before thatn Cailey, Kaley, and Kallee's hair were all curled and hers wasn't. My child's hair is bone straight, as if I flat ironed it every hour on the hour and it never ever got wet and it wasn't humid as the dickens down here in South Louisiana. I get her make up done as well, because that was something else she groaned about the day before at rehearsal. Ok check check, and CHECK!
We finally set out to the recital two hours+ before it was due to start. That's the time we were told to be there, so we were. Almost all of the class showed up on time, minus one child. I won't get into how that mom thought it was OK to show up with her child 20 minutes before the recital started. Whatever! Ok so one of my jobs as class mom was to line the girls up in line as they were to perform. I had to stay with the girls in a hall way in the back to ensure they remained quiet and in order while others were dancing on stage. So when it came time to get on stage, I had to put those little
So I get the
I felt something wet on my hands in my lap. I realize that I am crying at this point, because I am so proud of her. She is up there just radiating everything I know to be true about her--her sweet demeanor that gives me a foot rub if I say I had a long day, the times she saves her red starbursts for me because she knows I love them, or how she runs up to me and screams my name when I come home after not seeing her for a day or two due to my work schedule.
Every frustrated bedtime, every time she gets a tiny scratch and needs a band aid, every time she swears she isn't hungry and won't eat but devours whatever I'm trying to eat (that is usually the last bit of it and I've been salivating over it all day)---it's all worth it at that point.
I have to treasure every second with her. You know why--because one day she will morph into an obnoxious little brat that is 14 and wants to move out and hates me--all because I won't let her have the newest iphone or date some boy who I think belongs on American Most Wanted.
So I sit and cry at her dancing to Mambo #5 in a Mickey costume with a bright smile because I'll never ever get that moment back in life.
Monday, May 2, 2011
Playing catch up
I totally stink.
I even forgot this existed in the cyberworld.
My vow this month is to update this blog often. I can do it. Right?
Tomorrow I will start with who I am--where I'm from--and what makes me MOI!
2 hours left of work on day 6 of 7 days straight of work. I am READY for a break.
Did I say I'm ready?
Thank heavens for crock pots these days. I sure make a mean roasted chicken in a crock pot :)
I even forgot this existed in the cyberworld.
My vow this month is to update this blog often. I can do it. Right?
Tomorrow I will start with who I am--where I'm from--and what makes me MOI!
2 hours left of work on day 6 of 7 days straight of work. I am READY for a break.
Did I say I'm ready?
Thank heavens for crock pots these days. I sure make a mean roasted chicken in a crock pot :)
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
The worst slacker ever
I have neglected this blog but I have good reason.
I have been training in Mobile for work and my laptop died before I left. The hotel has a computer, from 1993. That's all I'm saying.
I totaled my car on the first trip back home from training. I hit a cement divider after some jerk-off in an Altima clipped me, pushed me into the divider and sped off. I am now the proud owner of a new 2010 Altima. Ironic eh?
Car shopping could have been awful but my guy at the dealership is awesome. He sold us hubby's truck and we liked him so much, we went right on back to him.
My daughter is sick. She is barking like a dog with that bad butt cough. I brought her to the after hours clinic and the medicine is finally working. Praise Cheese-us!
I just stink.
I am vowing here and now to chronicle my stuff better and I shall do this!
I have been training in Mobile for work and my laptop died before I left. The hotel has a computer, from 1993. That's all I'm saying.
I totaled my car on the first trip back home from training. I hit a cement divider after some jerk-off in an Altima clipped me, pushed me into the divider and sped off. I am now the proud owner of a new 2010 Altima. Ironic eh?
Car shopping could have been awful but my guy at the dealership is awesome. He sold us hubby's truck and we liked him so much, we went right on back to him.
My daughter is sick. She is barking like a dog with that bad butt cough. I brought her to the after hours clinic and the medicine is finally working. Praise Cheese-us!
I just stink.
I am vowing here and now to chronicle my stuff better and I shall do this!
Monday, August 2, 2010
MIA
Life has been ridiculously busy these days. Between my mother-in-law having a heart attack, an awesome bachelorette party, interviewing for jobs, landing two jobs, and deciding which one to take--life has been busy.
I've had a few moments to sit back and relax for a moment or two. This moment in particular makes me smile. On Friday after cutting our grass, I set up this slip and slide I managed to purchase from Target for a whopping $3.82. It turned out to be a huge hit with my daughter and our precious neighbor's little boy Landen. See for yourself:
Landen enjoyed himself as well.
I think he enjoyed swinging a tad bit more, however.
I haven't been cooking much as it's been hot as a smoldering building, but hopefully I find my cooking groove again. I jsut can't past the heat to want to cook/bake anything. I believe I need to start whipping out some kick butt salads.
We shall see!
For now tho, I shall get back to cleaning the house. Three weeks from today brings me training for my new job--I can't wait!
I've had a few moments to sit back and relax for a moment or two. This moment in particular makes me smile. On Friday after cutting our grass, I set up this slip and slide I managed to purchase from Target for a whopping $3.82. It turned out to be a huge hit with my daughter and our precious neighbor's little boy Landen. See for yourself:
Landen enjoyed himself as well.
I think he enjoyed swinging a tad bit more, however.
I haven't been cooking much as it's been hot as a smoldering building, but hopefully I find my cooking groove again. I jsut can't past the heat to want to cook/bake anything. I believe I need to start whipping out some kick butt salads.
We shall see!
For now tho, I shall get back to cleaning the house. Three weeks from today brings me training for my new job--I can't wait!
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