Friday, March 14, 2014

The long hiatus that I didn't plan

I have been writing in an online journal since I was a freshman in college, circa 2000.  The site that started my love of writing in an online journal for creepy internet strangers to read closed earlier this year and as sad as it made me, I knew it was coming.  The site had many struggles, a hacking or two, and flat out crappy management.  The proverbial writing was on the internet wall.  Once the site started failing, I stopped writing and checking places.  Life gets in the way sometimes of the things you are used to doing that aren't a necessity.

So much has changed since my last entry.  I miscarried.  I found out my then husband cheated, was a liar, and an even bigger asshat than I thought he was previously.  I asked him to leave.  I had limited visitation of my stepdaughter who I raised since she was 2.  I took on a second job at a bar.  I was a big girl and paid all of my bills on my OWN without the help of any man.  (huge thing since I had a rather large mortage, car note, and a ton of credit card debt from aforementioned asshat).  I started dating a man I've known for a very long time and never thought of in that way before.  I found out I was pregnant.  I found out two days later I would never be allowed to see my stepdaughter again when my soon to be ex husband found out I was seeing someone (even though he had dated many women since we separated and even introduced my sweet girl to these random women).  I studied for and PASSED my Series 6 a few weeks after finding out I was pregnant. I got divorced.  I've fallen into the best thing in life, true damn happiness.

I never in a million years thought that I would ever find this level of happiness in life when I asked for a divorce.  I thought my one shot at that whole spending your life with one person was over with.

Parrish just truly completes me.  He is by far the sweetest man I've ever met.  He holds my  hand when I need him.  He lets me stew when I need it.  He tells me to sit my butt down and put my feet up and REST when he knows I've worked myself into a tizzy.  He talks to my belly and tells our baby girl to settle down in there when she is dancing the rumba up in there!  More importantly he makes me feel like the only lady in the entire world and I know he has my back no matter what happens.

We've had some bumps in the road, not in our relationship, but with family things.  It will all be done soon enough once this sweet baby girl is born.  I am having a baby, in less than 2 weeks.  A sweet, soft, loving, pooping, throwing up, all mine and you cant ever take her from me EVER baby girl.  I wish my first baby girl would be in my life still so I could share this time with her as well.  My heart hurts every day missing my Alesi.  I know she knows I love her no matter what nonsense she is fed.  She knows I would never abandon her.  I am not the type of parent to do that.

 She will grow up resenting people and I can rest assured every night knowing I will not be the one she resents.  Every dog has their day and trust me, he will have his.   I mean he has his every day.  I thank God every day he was stupid enough to do what he did.  I wasn't happy and hadn't been happy for a while.  The happiness I feel today right here and now trumps any happiness I ever had with my ex husband  It scares me because I question my judgement of marrying my ex husband.  I know now that I married him for my stepdaughter, for Alesi.  I don't regret that time spent with her at all.  I am sad I can't hug her or tell her daily I love her.  I hope she thinks of me often and remembers my loving words and manners I taught her.

So I am back.  I am back from the proverbial blogging dead and I am glad to be here.

I am happy, pregnant (and soon to pop!) and ready to start this new chapter in my life.  Love is an amazing thing!

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

All things Half Pint!

Please accept my apologies for lack of entries lately. Changing jobs, trying to focus more on my family, and just enjoying life area all to blame for this!

I know as our kiddos grow up, we don't have baby books or huge milestones anymore to record their likes/dislikes, mannerisms, light bulb moments, and overall personality changes.

My little girl asks often about what she was like as a baby or growing up in her first year.  I gently remind her that I have been in her life since she was 2 and reinforce her inquisitive behavior with stories that I can recollect of her at age 2 and older.  I remind her she can ask her dad once he gets home from work and we will definitely get those answers for her.

Now I want to record right here and now things that make me giggle or grin about her at this time!

She loves my red beans.  She doesn't like canned red beans and is quick to tell you they "aren't like her mommas" but with a smile.  She whispered that to my mom not long ago about my dad's beans.  I couldn't help me laugh at that point because my dad is who taught me how to cook for the most part!

She sings in the shower and I mean LOUDLY!  She loves to sing Adela, Maroon 5, and that boy band that sings "That what makes her beautiful."  Their name escapes me right now and I am too lazy to look it up since I know as soon as I type this, I'll remember their name! One direction, told you I'd remember!

She loves music and keeps it in her life in every way possible.  She knows all the words to most songs and it makes me smile :)  She definitely takes after me on this one!

She is protective of me and her dad both, but more so for me.  I love that she still curls up in my lap and cuddles with me every possible chance. 

She is growing like a weed and is really tall for her age.  I don't really know where she gets that height from but I know she'll enjoy it once she gets older.

She loves going to church and praying.  We say grace at the table and she loves to lead it!

She enjoys school most days and always surprises me with her skills.

She is such a good care giver.  My friend Sherrie had a sweet baby boy 4 weeks ago and she loves all over him like he is her own brother.  It breaks my heart to see how much she yearns for a sibling but I know we will have one when the good Lord is ready to help with that!

I am so blessed to have such an amazingly sweet little girl!

Monday, May 7, 2012

The trouble with trifle

I make a dessert that I call trifle.  It's a tweaked recipe that took me a little while to perfect but it's ridiculously good, but ridiculously easy.  I don't ever let on how easy it is usually, but I'm calling myself out in this entry to tell you how stinkin' easy it is!  The issue with it is once you master how to make it, people beg you to make it over and over.  I'm so tired of making this, my chocolate brownie trifle, and my spinach and artichoke dip.  OVER IT!

I make a few variations and the one I am going to post about today is the strawberry cheesecake version.  You will need the following ingredients to make an average size trifle bowl.  I never ever make this version, I always double it because it goes and it goes fast! If you've ever been lucky enough to been at any function I've been at--you've eaten it and can tell the world that you better grab it when you see it because it goes in a flash!

Strawberry Cheesecake trifle


Slice pound cake into 1-inch slices. Put aside.

Mix water and condensed milk until fully combined. Mix in the cheesecake pudding until fully combined. Then mix in 8 oz. of Cool Whip.

In a large trifle bowl, put the first layer down of pound cake. Put half of the pudding mixture. Top with half of the remaining Cool Whip. Layer half of the strawberries on top. Layer the other half of ingredients the same way.

Place in the fridge for at least 4 hours to meld all together! I usually make it the night before to ensure it tastes as yummy as possible!

A few tips:

do not use angel food cake.  It breaks down too easy and it tastes like soggy mush.  The pound cake is heavy enough to not break down completely.

You can  substitute any fruit you have but I haven't ever made it with anything other than strawberries.  It's up to you if you want to use pie filling but I don't know how that would taste.

Sometimes I put my strawberries in a bit of sugar and let it make it's own juice.  It just depends on how I feel that night when I make it :)

Hope you enjoy!!

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Changes are happening

There are choices we are all faced with from time to time.

We weigh the pros, the cons, and the indifferents.

As a mom and wife foremost, my family comes first to me.  At the end of the day, nothing else really matters.  There needs to be love, a roof over our head, and some sort of food to feed us.

Right now, there are some big changes happening in my life and I am ready to take them head on.

It will be tough in the beginning but the end result is worth the stress and worry.

Some of you know what's going on and others do not.  I appreciate your patience until everything is official with the changes. 

I hope you stick along for the ride!

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

TIme flies

With my husband's job change last November comes added shifts and extra shifts.  That makes for a hectic life for me!

I am hopefully leveling out and can handle everything I am juggling.

I decided to re-open my Etsy shop soon and I am hoping it brings in extra money needed for my girls trip to Mexico for my best friend (aka almost sister) Heather!

If I have any rogue readers out there left, feel to ask me anything you want to know about me.

PS-in 10 days I will be the mother of a 7 year old.  WHO told her she could grow up?

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Some days you just have to run

Any Dixie Chicks fans out there?  Remember that song, some days you gotta dance?  Well some days in my life you gotta run.  I've been hitting the gym in such a dedicated manner that I am even confusing my child.  She told me last night that I spend too much time at the gym and I am healthy enough already.  I told her I have 50+ lbs to go to be healthy enough and well, that is that!  She doesn't like me going to the gym but I explain that I will be happier and healthier, so she shrugs and runs off to go watch Victoria or play on her DSi.

The announcement today is that I have been running on the treadmill.  Yes, this girl right here has been running.  The only real time I've run before now is after my kid if she escaped  my grasp as a toddler or maybe after an Icee truck if he forgot to refill the machines at Sam's?   Either way, I've started my running regiment.  Let me tell you, it sucks to be on a treadmill for 45 minutes+.  I get bored.  Granted I have my iPhone, a TV, and an android phone all within reach but I am still bored.  I hate commercials so TV annoys me.  I am music spastic so I skip songs often.  There aren't many songs I can listen to it's entirety  but I am trying very hard to listen to songs from start to finish.  I often say my music spastic qualities might end up getting me divorced one day, but I think for now he'll stick around, lol.

My current songs I run to and keep up the pace:

Stronger-Kelly Clarkson.  I love her, love love that she is producing music like her first album.  Love her!

Countdown-Oh Beyonce I love you.  I mean I think the money you spent on blue ivy's nursery is a bit much, but I love this song.  I also rock out to Single Ladies too and you can see me holding a hand up sometimes on the treadmill while running/walking doing that dance.  Oh yes ma'am!

Set Fire to the Rain-Adele-you rock.  I love your voice.  I also love Glee's take on your songs and their mash-ups of them. 

Good Feeling-Flo Rida.  Bring it on, buddy.  I've got this!

Not over you-Gavin DeGraw.   Love love the upbeat tempo!

N in Paradise--I rock it.  I don't use the N word, ever and don't like the use of it but the song makes me run for the most part.

Moves like Jagger-Maroon 5.  This just makes me smile b/c my little girl loves this song and we dance to it anytime it comes on. I'm sure some people in traffic were getting a good laugh at us the other day

Now I'm off to make some soup for a coworker for a favor they did for me and get my butt up and dressed!

Have a great Thursday, ya'l1!

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Some days you have to say shove it

I love my job.  I do.  Really!  There aren't many days I walk out of here or take my lunch shaking my head when it comes to people.  Sure, I let out a giggle to myself sometimes or joke with coworkers about their level of stupidity, but for the most part I love my job.

Today, however I want to tell Wednesday to take a flying leap and land in some dog poop or something!

My customers today have really given me some "hum dinger" kind of questions/statements leaving me wanting to kick a kitten.

Add to that my frustrations with a few other things in life right now, I just want to kick a kitten.

Did I mention I'm going to the gym like 5-6 times a week now?  Yep, this girl right here is hitting the gym.  I do at least 30 minutes on the treadmill and 15 minutes on the bike, and then at least 20 minutes doing the weight circuits.  So far, so good.

I gave up coca cola.  Stop the presses.  Hold the phone.  Get out of freaking dodge.  You may not know this but I am addicted to it like its a drug.

I shall  be Ok.

My boss says to include in this post that I like nuts.  In my mouth.  The kind you can swish around.

She says they are Niiice and then I had to turn in a fit of giggles and realized that the brand name is Nice.  She also likes to suck on them!

Enough said!